byCarmine

Today is building up to be stormy. So far, winter has been a little lacking in that area. It’s been pretty mild really, especially compared to last. Almost no rain. Not that cold. But then again, the latter could be down to the fact that I’m in a much warmer house than last year. It makes all the difference. Still though, it is nice to sit here and hear the wind building up and all the tree stars falling from the sky like snow, and scattering across the ground. I hope to take Ewan out for a bit of a walk soon.

Looking forward to this afternoon when my Mum goes out of the house for a few hours. Perhaps longer. She has been known to stay out to 8pm when she goes shopping. I need to make sure I don’t give her my card. She’s gotten back into the habit of spending all my money. I’ll give her my card to get a $1 DVD rental for Ewan + his formula and she spends $140  on things she thinks I should get. And in reality don’t need to. Easier said than done to say not to give her my card at all, as I frequently need her to pick up stuff for me, with work and Ewan, it can be hard to get out of the house. So..  in preparation this time, I’ve gotten some cash out I can give her.

Still hard at work on the latest site design. It’s a big one, and I wish it was smaller. Quite a hefty task for my first e Commerce cart.  Lots of extra features required and a  complete redesign from the standard layout that comes from Magento. But if I get it done, then I guess I’ll be that much more confident for the next one. Don’t get me wrong though. I still love what I do. And am very eager for the big move. Again. It’s not soon enough.

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Sometimes it’s hard to imagine Mum getting any worse or saying any worse. But she always manages to do so. Leaving me shaking, barely able to type and just.. in shock.

It’s midnight. Just gone past. And she wants me to wash all the dishes and the ‘big’ mess I left in the kitchen after making Ewan pikelets for his lunch with left overs. Which she also complained about, saying didn’t I have enough already for his lunch? Didn’t I get enough things with the groceries? I replied that it was a treat, and she just remarked snidely that I just wanted to make more mess in her tidy kitchen. And it just went on. And on. And on.

And for perspective, this is the ‘big mess’ and these are the ‘dishes’ I left ‘everywhere’.

The stove 'covered with food'. In reality, I saw one tiny spot I missed.

The messy bench (I didn't even use it, save as a resting place for Ewan's lunch box).

All my unwashed dishes. Just to put it into perspective, just to the side (not in the picture, are my Mum

Pensive Ewan sitting on top of the Washing and watching Hamtoro

Having a giggling fit on the ground after playing 'squeak-squeak' with me

My Mum has refined the art of criticism to a very fine level. If it were a skill, she would be a ‘grand master’ at it..

Advise everyone had always given me to just ignore it no longer works. If I do, she promptly asks did you hear me? And even if I do acknowledge that I did, it’s not enough now. She has to ask, do you agree? Why not? And then, it invariably degrades into a long lecture. Or snide remarks. Snide remarks are popular at the moment. ‘You NEVER clean the bench after you.’ ‘You NEVER rinse your dishes good enough’, ‘I’m more of a mother to him than you are’, ‘You’re just jealous of me and Ewan and our special relationship.’ Really, all I want to do is ignore it. I know it’s not true. I know that I already wiped the bench two times before she did. I know the dish had been rinsed,but I just didn’t care about that small speck that was on the rim. I don’t expect rinsed dishes to be sparkly clean and perfectly washed. The last two… are just rubbish. And not even worth remarking on.

So, if she won’t let me ignore her.. then politely arguing or denying would be the next thing right? Unfortunately she has also a method for that, she retorts.. leaves the room before I can reply (or even as I am replying), waits and then comes back with another nasty remark.

Today is Mother’s day. My Mum got flowers delivered from my brother in Australia. I got a wonderful e-card that a friend sent for me on Ewan’s behalf. It actually made me cry. He doesn’t know that though. Well, he will now.  Creche also helped Ewan make up a very sweet card for me for Mother’s day.

In honour of the occasion and wanting some con-solidarity with other Mum’s going through similar problems, I spent hours trolling blogs, looking for feeds to add to http://www.feedly.com/. I found a couple of dozen and now I have 200+ unread articles to read. Most of them are interesting. Some even bringing a few tears to my eyes (I’m very emotional this week, easily brought to tears). I want to read every single one of them… I might be here a while.

Ewan eating 'tubby toast'.

Ewan's E-card!

Card Ewan made for me for Mother's Day

Ewan has taken on a unary language consisting of the word ‘No’.

Though there are numerous variations on this:

1. No. Usually said when we are asking him a list of questions, though the ability for him to understand the questions does not lessen the chance of having the ‘No’ response. Example: Do you want to go bed? No. Do you want to stay up? No. Do you want a bottle? No.

2. NO! This response is usually given when we have asked him too many questions or the same thing too many times.  Or ask him a question involving something he really doesn’t like. Example: Do you  want to have your nappy changed? NO! Want to have your nose wiped? NO!

3. NoNoNoNo. This is usually said when he is telling us not to do something. Example. Trying to put socks on Ewan will often get this response.

At the moment, there is no such thing as ‘yes’. Just sometimes… rarely, an absence of no. Which may suggest an agreement. Or that he didn’t hear the question. Or that he doesn’t care.

Ewan had a bit of a mishap yesterday. And it was kind of lucky that just a few minutes before, I had decided I needed a nap, and had gone down to my room and crawled into bed. Not more than five minutes later I hear a thump-thump-THUMP. And then a big scream. I leap out of bed, and sure enough, Ewan had climbed/fell out of his cot. I’m not quite sure how, but he managed it as he isn’t quite tall enough to get his leg up over the bar. Or he wasn’t. He is actually very very tall for his age, taller than the 99% percentile for his age.

He wasn’t badly hurt, a small bruise and graze along his brow. No concussion and no bumps, and his tears were quickly soothed away.

The next few hours I spent converting his cot to a bed and making his room completely ‘Ewan-proof’ in the event that he hops out in the middle of the night. As my room is attached to his, I’m going to need some sort of gate between them or he’s likely to come down into mine and empty all my drawers of their clothes. I do have one gate at the moment, but as it so happens, it is just a half inch too big to fit.

After the conversion, I put him tentatively down to sleep in his new cot-bed, and … it went well. Very well actually. Straight to sleep. No dramas. And the same thing for his night time sleep.. well, except for waking up when I went to bed and deciding to come see me heh. But I put him back in bed and he went straight back to sleep.

I expected more dramas… and I think it is because creche put him in a bed (rather than a cot) that there were none. So far at least.

I wish I still had a webcam set up in his room though so I could watch him and make sure he’s okay heh.