So I split up with the guy I was seeing a few days ago. Was I heart broken? No. Did it hurt a little? Yes.
He wasn’t the ‘one’. I know that, I think I knew it right from the start. But I gave it a good go (though I am sure that he would argue otherwise). Ultimately we wanted very different things in a partner. And although I don’t want to be alone, I want to be with someone who makes me feel good about myself (and them) and he didn’t.
I wish him the best in finding what he wants but I’m fairly confident it isn’t me. And after how he reacted to the break up I’m even more sure of that as yesterday he took great pains to go through what seemed to be great pains in saying how wrong for him I am, all my negative qualities and what appeared to me an attempt to break up with me, half ignoring the fact that I had already.
Perhaps it was his ego, not happy with the fact that I was the one that stepped up to the plate and did it, finally. And perhaps it made him feel better.
It certainly didn’t make me, particularly when he took the effort to tell me that it is just as well we don’t have kids together because he would ensure he would take them away from me and get full custody. I mean.. what the hell?
I had thought we’d be still good friends but I can’t imagine wanting to spend time with anyone who would do something like that to their respective partner. At least not without very, very good reason. Even with how badly things ended with ex-husband, I would still not keep him away from seeing and having contact with his kids. I actually want him to and am disappointed he doesn’t.
The mind boggles. I think he just wanted to hurt me. I don’t know. Men.