byCarmine

So, I’ve been enjoying the novelty of buying songs on iTunes for my iPod Touch. *shows off, yet again*

So far, I have (in order of purchase):

Mad World, Gary Jules
What I’ve Done, Linkin Park
All on our Own, Midnight Youth
Bleed it Out, Linkin Park
Numb, Linkin Park
Teenagers, My Chemical Romance
Hey Boys and Girls, Evermore
Misery Business, Paramore
The Pretenders, Foo Fighters
Shake It, Metro Station
You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid, Offspring
Indestructable, Disturbed
Crazy Bitch, Buckcherry

Except for the first, a theme can probably noticed. Probably all I can afford for now, but will be expanding soon.

I now have one.

It is purty.

Assessments Update:

DONE 20th May comp235 math lab due
DONE 27th May comp313 major haskell programming assignment due
DONE 27th May comp235 math lab due
DONE 29th May comp235 math assignment due

2nd June comp235 major test
3rd June comp333 major test

HALF DONE 10th June comp333 major web app assignment due

15th June comp313 exam

17th June comp313 major haskell programming assignment due
25th June comp235 exam

There certainly seems a pattern of the really bad nights occurring roughly every fortnight.

Got my programming assignment (more or less) done. Got my math assignment done. Just one more lab to do and I can start studying for those two tests and work on my web-design (333) assignment.

Need to try talk my Mum into going away for the two weeks I have off Uni. Brought it up a couple of days ago, but she didn’t seem keen.

Assessments so far:

DONE 20th May comp235 lab due
DONE 27th May comp313 major assignment due
27th May comp235 lab due
DONE 29th May comp235 assignment due
2nd June comp235 major test
3rd June comp333 major test
10th June comp333 major assignment due
15th June comp313 exam
17th June comp313 major assignment due
25th June comp235 exam

Tired, but I shouldn’t be. Other non-Mum issues I have been trying so hard to not let bother me, are, when they do not normally.

Still haven’t had any success playing on DI myself and (even more strangely) coding. Just seem to be losing my enthusiasm for anything.

After several days of relative normality, Mum had another mood last night.

Usual thing. Something small causing a reaction that isn’t justified. In this case, I dared to make a dessert. I even asked. What do you think of me making a plum pudding, she agreed and said it was okay. I made it. And she was REALLY upset. Because apparently she had been wanting to make one for weeks. And now by making one I spoiled that. Then why didn’t she say so when I asked? That is the whole purpose of me asking, to make sure she was okay with it. So she spent the rest of the night barely saying a word to me, and ended it by throwing my clothes out of the bathroom (literally).

Over 250 kids die each year whilst on the waiting list for an organ transplant in the US. I’m not sure of the stats here in NZ. But how ever many it is, it is too much. It is heart breaking to watch these kids getting weaker and weaker by the day as they wait in the hopes that an organ will become available before they die.

In New Zealand, only 30-40 donate their organs each year. That’s not enough. Not only that, but looking at the Donors per Million Population, we’re way, WAY down on the list. One of the worst. 24 in the USA per million population, 13 in Britain, 9.4 in Australia and 9 in NZ in 2007.

“More than 400 New Zealanders are waiting for an organ transplant and approximately 350 of these are waiting for a kidney transplant. People waiting for a heart, lungs or liver will die without a successful transplant while those waiting for a kidney transplant lead lives restricted by long-term dialysis treatment.” (http://www.donor.co.nz/donor/transplants/waiting_lists.php)

Please, please consider saving someone’s life and donating your organs.

For information on how you can do this in New Zealand, visit this website: http://www.donor.co.nz/donor/index.php. It is simpler than I thought, no complicated forms, all you need to do is let your family know that is your wishes should something ever happen to you. I did that tonight.

And in the US, here: http://www.donatelife.net/

It feels like my personal situation at home has gotten to the point that it is so overwhelming that it is suffocating everything else. And what else is left behind, I have little will or energy to put into maintaining it.

So, my inbox is overflowing. I’m barely replying to IMs. I’m not really present on the mud. I have only played once since the return from my break. But admittedly, that is also partially due to the incidents and people involved still. RP used to be my ‘break’ where I went to try escape for a little. Now it feels like that enjoyment is no longer there and going from one stress to another just.. doesn’t appeal.

At my counselors and my Mum’s counselors recommendation, I’ve written to my Mum’s doctor. I’m nervous about what will happen as a result of that.

After my first visit, I was optimistic about there being a solution to it all. Now, less so. I can’t do this without a lot of help, and I don’t think the counselor is enough as she can’t be here to help me deal with Mum and the aftermath of it.

And if I wasn’t studying full time and a single Mum, I might be able to manage Mum on my own. But with all that going on, I really don’t know how much longer I can handle it for. With this second visit, my counselor observed that she thought I was worse, a ‘nervous wreck’ that was potentially bordering on a full break down. I can’t afford to do that. Not with trying to keep my grades at an A+ level. Not whilst looking after an 18mo son.