Samurai 7
14
May
Long hours today, from 11am to 11pm. Still got way too much to do on this shopping site. Still though, I enjoy what I do.. I just wish the first eCommerce site with Magento wasn’t quite such a large project. Would of rather of started with something smaller. But, if I can pull it off.. then yeah, good pay. And I’ll feel that much more confident going into the next one.
Started watching Samurai 7. Enjoying it a lot.
Shimada Kanbei (Yum)
Stormy Day
12
May
Today is building up to be stormy. So far, winter has been a little lacking in that area. It’s been pretty mild really, especially compared to last. Almost no rain. Not that cold. But then again, the latter could be down to the fact that I’m in a much warmer house than last year. It makes all the difference. Still though, it is nice to sit here and hear the wind building up and all the tree stars falling from the sky like snow, and scattering across the ground. I hope to take Ewan out for a bit of a walk soon.
Looking forward to this afternoon when my Mum goes out of the house for a few hours. Perhaps longer. She has been known to stay out to 8pm when she goes shopping. I need to make sure I don’t give her my card. She’s gotten back into the habit of spending all my money. I’ll give her my card to get a $1 DVD rental for Ewan + his formula and she spends $140 on things she thinks I should get. And in reality don’t need to. Easier said than done to say not to give her my card at all, as I frequently need her to pick up stuff for me, with work and Ewan, it can be hard to get out of the house. So.. in preparation this time, I’ve gotten some cash out I can give her.
Still hard at work on the latest site design. It’s a big one, and I wish it was smaller. Quite a hefty task for my first e Commerce cart. Lots of extra features required and a complete redesign from the standard layout that comes from Magento. But if I get it done, then I guess I’ll be that much more confident for the next one. Don’t get me wrong though. I still love what I do. And am very eager for the big move. Again. It’s not soon enough.
Another Switch
11
May
Another switch in themes. This might happen a few times over the next several days (weeks) till I find one that suits me. So far I like this though.
Late Night
11
May
…
……
Sometimes it’s hard to imagine Mum getting any worse or saying any worse. But she always manages to do so. Leaving me shaking, barely able to type and just.. in shock.
It’s midnight. Just gone past. And she wants me to wash all the dishes and the ‘big’ mess I left in the kitchen after making Ewan pikelets for his lunch with left overs. Which she also complained about, saying didn’t I have enough already for his lunch? Didn’t I get enough things with the groceries? I replied that it was a treat, and she just remarked snidely that I just wanted to make more mess in her tidy kitchen. And it just went on. And on. And on.
And for perspective, this is the ‘big mess’ and these are the ‘dishes’ I left ‘everywhere’.
The stove 'covered with food'. In reality, I saw one tiny spot I missed.
The messy bench (I didn't even use it, save as a resting place for Ewan's lunch box).
All my unwashed dishes. Just to put it into perspective, just to the side (not in the picture, are my Mum
Pensive Ewan sitting on top of the Washing and watching Hamtoro
Having a giggling fit on the ground after playing 'squeak-squeak' with me
Best Bit
10
May
The best bit of mothers day was at the end of it.. just past midnight when I tip-toed in to check on Ewan, pulling a few more warm blankets over him. I notice him starting to stir and worry that I’ve woken him… he half opens his eyes, looks up at me and asks.. ‘Mum-mum, kisses?’. So, of course, I give him one, and he’s just barely fighting off slipping back into sleep. I ask him if he wants anything else and he adds, ‘Jingle bells.’
Ten Days
09
May
That’s the number in my head for how long I intend to wait for the bf to do something different. The only time he says sweet things is when I practically force it out of him. Otherwise, there is zero interest in me. I gave it a month after he didn’t say or so anything for my birthday. On its own not that bad a thing, but coupled with the rest of the indifference… I feel like I barely exist to him. At least, I can’t see how he thinks of me as anything more than just friends. And I’m just withdrawing more and more. Which is what I do when something or someone hurts me. Distance myself until it lessens the pain. Then next time, it won’t hurt so bad.
I wonder if I can wait 10 days. Or will I explode from it all before then. I think I’ve done pretty good to hold out this long.
Interesting, when ever I get reclusive like this, I get to the point where I need to talk to someone. And so, I blog. A lot.
New WordPress Theme
09
May
Changed the look. Need something new, been on the old theme too long. Not quite 100% happy with this one, but it’ll do for now.
Mother’s Day
09
May
My Mum has refined the art of criticism to a very fine level. If it were a skill, she would be a ‘grand master’ at it..
Advise everyone had always given me to just ignore it no longer works. If I do, she promptly asks did you hear me? And even if I do acknowledge that I did, it’s not enough now. She has to ask, do you agree? Why not? And then, it invariably degrades into a long lecture. Or snide remarks. Snide remarks are popular at the moment. ‘You NEVER clean the bench after you.’ ‘You NEVER rinse your dishes good enough’, ‘I’m more of a mother to him than you are’, ‘You’re just jealous of me and Ewan and our special relationship.’ Really, all I want to do is ignore it. I know it’s not true. I know that I already wiped the bench two times before she did. I know the dish had been rinsed,but I just didn’t care about that small speck that was on the rim. I don’t expect rinsed dishes to be sparkly clean and perfectly washed. The last two… are just rubbish. And not even worth remarking on.
So, if she won’t let me ignore her.. then politely arguing or denying would be the next thing right? Unfortunately she has also a method for that, she retorts.. leaves the room before I can reply (or even as I am replying), waits and then comes back with another nasty remark.
Today is Mother’s day. My Mum got flowers delivered from my brother in Australia. I got a wonderful e-card that a friend sent for me on Ewan’s behalf. It actually made me cry. He doesn’t know that though. Well, he will now. Creche also helped Ewan make up a very sweet card for me for Mother’s day.
In honour of the occasion and wanting some con-solidarity with other Mum’s going through similar problems, I spent hours trolling blogs, looking for feeds to add to http://www.feedly.com/. I found a couple of dozen and now I have 200+ unread articles to read. Most of them are interesting. Some even bringing a few tears to my eyes (I’m very emotional this week, easily brought to tears). I want to read every single one of them… I might be here a while.
Ewan eating 'tubby toast'.
Ewan's E-card!
Card Ewan made for me for Mother's Day